Sunday, April 5, 2009

I was in ...The War

I can still hear, those sounds are awesome ...
The scene is ecstatic, why you saying gruesome!!
I promise, I am going to win that zenith...
Fear is a lie ...thrill is true some ...

Oh motherland!
I am going alone , It won't be a miss ...
I bend down last time , for your warm kiss ...
I am fighting and fighting and fighting ...
to be born again in your lap , My wish !!

I have my head drenched in red water ...
I know something hit me with a word 'slaughter'..
I am falling, blurred images approaching ...
Someone with the country flag, Ohh! It’s my daughter!

I want to speak but lips are trembling ..
I want to laugh but teeth are rumbling...
I want to move but I am stationary ..
A sense of victory ..though I am crumbling ...

I can't remember who you are ..
Dim lights running way too far..
There are sounds but from within ..
They all are saying , "I was ..in the war"

2 comments:

Anand Shankar said...

the theme is very nice and the poetry well composed.
But I will like to comment upon your style.You have always encouraged flow over rhyming which is well reflected in your Hindi compositions.You may want to apply the same here and I believe it will certainly sound and feel better :)

Good endeavor!

Vaibhav Rikhari said...

Thanks champ :) !!

Yes ..I do believe that poems should not have any checks such as rhyming ..It should be flow of feeling right from your heart !!

But flow can be produced with rhyming and it's evident from so many great compositions of past.

For this particular poem I did not think much ...words came and got decorated in proper manner !

I ll definitely choose a new subject where rhyming does not come into picture :)

Keep igniting me :D